Apparently wordpress.com knows that I have been neglecting my blog lately. I blame my current work environment which zaps me of all creativity, not because of the job itself, but because I spend most of my time isolated in a cubicle. I used to have other cubicle friends, but they have been working in other places ever since I started repeating, line by line, Season 6 of The Cosby Show (it’s the best season of the best show! They need to hear it!)

Anyway, every morning I have good intentions of writing a new blog entry but it always fails. Today when I logged in to try to write something, I was greeted by the following bit of news from the wordpress people:

“10 topics to make your blog sizzle!”

“Hah!” said I. My blog need not sizzle because it’s already on fire and fires sizzle by default.

The point of all of this is that I’m going to try your 10 tips, just to humour you (in case you’re confused, I am now talking to the wordpress people).

#1: Write a post by examining the pros and cons of an issue.

After 2 seconds of deliberation, I have decided to examine the pros and cons of my two most recent homes: Vancouver and Boston. Let’s examine 4 key areas to consider when deciding where to live.

1) Food

Vancouver has all-you-can-eat sushi on every block. Boston has great Italian food but I’ve never tried it. Point to Vancouver.

2) Weather

Vancouver is temperate and by temperate I mean that the sun never shines and it rains 8 days a week. Boston, in comparison to Vancouver, is very sunny. At the same time, Boston is “cold” but it’s not Saskatchewan. That is to say that you can still go outside without fear of losing a finger/toe. Point to Boston

3) Housing

I can afford housing in neither Boston nor Vancouver. In Vancouver I can survive outside because the winters are mild but the rain makes my cardboard hut soggy. My cardboard hut stays dry in Boston but it gets chillier. I could make a blanket out of leaves and grass but there aren’t too many parks in the area. Also, I actually do live in a house right now but it’s rather old and the oven is making strange noises… as if gas is leaking… I feel scared. No points to anyone.

4) Jazz

50 points to Montreal

5) Bagels

50 points to Montreal

6) Pancakes

While I struggle every day to find good pancakes in Boston, I actually had trouble choosing which magnificent pancake hut to eat at in Vancouver. This, in fact, trumps all of the above points. Pancakes are the most important thing in the world and don’t let anyone tell you differently.

 

The Winner: Saskatchewan

 

Thank you and goodnight.

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