After a couple of false starts, I finally have a set of teeth and gums that don’t physically reject one another’s presence and slowly try to kill each other off. I thank modern medicine, Vicodin, and jello for making this possible. Shout outs also go out to my liver for not failing when I took too much Vicodin, my orthodontist who begrudgingly agreed to do the surgery over and over even when I kept messing it up by poking at my stitches with toothpicks, and the people who offered to bring me soup and pudding (possibly against their will). Also to my housemates who listen to me complain and watch me drool uncontrollably for days at a time.

Shout outs do not go out to my genes which gave me an oral cavity that hates itself and wreaks havoc on everything, nor to the hockey stick that started this whole mess. 

I will miss nothing about this ordeal except for the painkillers that make me sleep so well. 

Goodnight.

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