I have a list of things I should do in life. My list includes things like “live in every province in Canada” and “chew an entire pack of gum for 3 hours”… “find the squirrel that stole my trail mix”… “get my name on Google scholar”… “learn to juggle woodland creatures”… “… you know. Important things.

Some items get ticked off by chance, others because I assume that all squirrels are the squirrel that stole my trail mix. Others need a bit of effort. One of the most important items on my list involves the greatest storyteller in the world, Stuart McLean. I have to (as dictated by my list which currently rules my life) either have a conversation with him or have him read one of my stories on his Story Exchange. After a few years of doing nothing at all and, for some reason, not hearing from Stuart, I’ve come to realize that I am probably going to have to be a bit more proactive.

I tried sending a story to the Story Exchange but apparently they get thousands upon thousands from people who can actually form sentences. Since I are speak english ungood, I am going to have to up my game.

The plan:
From now until February 2013, I shall post two stories per month on this blog and send them to Stuart.

The ground rules:
– I reserve the right to change the rules of this game from 2 stories a month to one every three weeks.
– I reserve the right to post stories that I made up. Since the Story Exchange only accepts true stories, I shall send these fake stories directly to Stuart rather than to the Story Exchange address. But since I don’t have Stuart’s address, I will write any fake stories on paper, fold them up into paper planes, and throw them in Canada’s general direction. I trust that the wind will get them to where they need to be.
– If, after one year, I have not heard from Stuart, I reserve the right to check this item off of my list anyway. Kind of like when I told myself that I lived in every Canadian province even though I never set foot in Newfoundland. Life is better when you make your own memories.
– Since February is half over (one week in, half over, same thing), I reserve the right to post only one story for this month.

Let’s go.