I’ve been thinking a lot of about pick-pocketing lately and I’m quite surprised that nobody has made a wallet version of one of those buzzers that pranksters wear on their hands. You could wrap it around the wallet and then when someone grabs it they’d be all “ahhh, buzzed again!” Then you could have a laugh but also be like “don’t steal my wallet, poindexter.”
Maybe such a contraption would shock you while it’s in your pocket. That’s probably why it doesn’t exist.

There used to be all sorts of stories that people would tell kids to get them to not do dumb stuff. I think the world is falling apart because we don’t have such stories anymore. I remember there was this one story my dad would tell me about a boy who had a friend who could hold the entire ocean in his mouth (excluding shells for some reason). The boy wanted cool shells so he asked his friend to suck up the ocean. His friend said “ok but make sure you leave the ocean area when I wave at you because I can only hold it in my mouth for 10 minutes”. But then the boy was greedy/distracted by shiny shells and didn’t pay attention to his friend. His friend had to let all the ocean water go and the boy drowned or was eaten by a shark. From this story I learned that shells are very nice and good collectibles. We should have more stories that teach kids these kinds of lessons.

People call hairless cats ugly but they are the cat that looks most like humans.

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